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Replies: 52 / Views: 10,199 |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
When it comes to divorces I've really met a lot of people over the years that have gone through those. In the state I live in it is sort of well known that a women will get almost everything. There may well be laws saying one thing or another but that seldom matters here. Regardless of who owned what and when, women always end up with the majority of all of everything. And the real problem with this is it's just not money or a house, but they almost always get the kids, collections, cars, etc. One person I knew that was in the Armed forces had a wife that cheated on him all the time he was gone. When he came back she filed for a divorce. He had to go back overseas and was killed there. His now almost exwife still got all the insurance money, all the things he owned, everything. Yes divorces are a mess but if you can walk away, you will still have a chance to recover and move on. Some can't.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
511 Posts |
Thanks to all of you who shared divorce stories. It can't be easy to remember those awful experiences. My wife died 4 years ago, and my situation is easier than what my divorced friends have gone through.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
14454 Posts |
Quote: My wife died 4 years ago, and my situation is easier than what my divorced friends have gone through. I am going to speak from experience on this one. I was married to my first wife for about 5 years but I had dated her for about 5 years before we got married. She died one moth before her 23rd Birthday (I was 24) and to be honest it was allot harder to deal with than this divorce could ever be. We had a then 4 year old daughter that all of a sudden lost her mother. It wasn't anything I would wish on anyone. Divorce is a horrible thing but there is no way it can compare to death
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1388 Posts |
My condolences to you and your daughter, bryan. As to the hide your collection from everyone, not a good idea. Make sure someone (parents, good friend, etc.) knows so if YOU die suddenly ( hope not) it is not lost and the people that should get it get it.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3294 Posts |
that is what a will is for
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Valued Member
United States
76 Posts |
For those here who went through or are going through a divorce, I was curious to know the reasons why you got divorced. I know it's none of my business but would anyone here care to share? Did any of it have to do with coin/bullion collecting or other reasons such as financial, or infidelity?
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3453 Posts |
I wish I could add something from the female perspective that would help you make sense of it but I can't. When I divorced my son's father I just took 1/2 of savings and only my stuff. I did not fight for the property, I was more concerned about trying to create a stable environment for my son than a protracted battle for real estate or what I thought was an asset. While I am sure I would have walked away with alot more, that would have meant I could not move foward and start the healing process. That was a personal choice that many people do not seem to understand.
I have now remarried to a man who loves coins as well. I tease him and tell him alll the coins are MINE! I do not ever see us divorcing so I will not speculate on what ifs. I am sorry you both are experiencing this, my best to you in the future.
Dawn
Edited by CoinsKelly 05/31/2012 11:00 pm
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Pillar of the Community
 United States
2269 Posts |
Realmetal, I am very comfortable talking about my divorce. I started this thread to share my experience with anyone who might be going or knows someone who is going through a divorce. My passion in life is numismatics as I am sure it is for some. Looking back, I went through a period where my coins took a back seat. I firmly beleive that the healing process begins when the things that always brought you happiness can once again become a positive part in your life. In the last two months, I have rediscovered my passion.
In life some of the best lessons are those you learn from the experiences of others.
That being said, when I was married I was completely faithful to my exwife. Our issues weren't financial, although they became financial during the divorce. A few years ago my exwife was diagnosed with scizoeffective disorder. It is one of more serious personality disorders. There were constant mood changes and she would sometimes become extremely violent. When someone has a serious personality disorder, it becomes quite difficult to get help for them, because they are usually in denial. Sometimes in life you can only try so much.I didn't give up on her until she became physically violent on a regular basis.
Edited by Spider5689 06/01/2012 12:31 am
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3283 Posts |
Not only is divorce is dangerous to your coin collection, it is wicked on ones finances overall. Mental disease is tough, especially schizophrenia, I know someone who got hit by that and he is not the person he was, not even close. Sorry for your loss, shake it off and move on! Best of luck to you.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
Quote: For those here who went through or are going through a divorce, I was curious to know the reasons why you got divorced. I know it's none of my business but would anyone here care to share? Did any of it have to do with coin/bullion collecting or other reasons such as financial, or infidelity? That is a really tuff and ambiguous question. The problem with such a question about divorses, at least, is your only going to hear one side of the situation. In almost every instance of a divorce I've ever known, it was always the OTHER person's fault. The OTHER person cheated. The OTHER person was blowing all the money. The OTHER person just turned out to be a real nut. The OTHER person was abusive. And too in almost every instance I've known, since I'm a male, I hear the Male's side of the story. A lady I know told me with her it's always the opposite. It's always the male's fault. An attorney once told me in every divorse there is always a winner, a louser and a few that really don't matter. The louser is usually any kids. The winner is the attorneys. The divorce individuals really don't count.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
14454 Posts |
Quote: For those here who went through or are going through a divorce, I was curious to know the reasons why you got divorced I can not point to one specific thing that caused the separation/divorce because it was a number of small things throughout the years from both of us that contributed to the growing apart. Some things she did was huge in my opinion and some things I have done was huge as well so if you ask her I am sure she would automatically say it was all my fault and that if I hadn't or had done this or that then she would have reacted this way instead of the way she did. But to be honest we just had irreconcilable differences and that is it. I really try hard to not bash her as she is my child's mother and that will never change if we are together or not. I hold no hard feelings toward her for anything she has done and have never told my daughter anything that her mother had done throughout the marriage. I do not want her to have any hard feelings toward her mother
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3453 Posts |
@Bryan1315 that will pay off for you in spades. Taking the high road is of the utmost importance when it comes to children. My son's father died last year when he was 11 and I am so incredibly thankful that I kept my mouth shut. My son was aware of some of his father's problems but did not need to know the details. He now has mostly good memories of his father and for that I am grateful.
As a child of divorce myself, I was used as a weapon between my parents and swore that if I did divorce, I would not do that to my child. God bless and hang in there.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
14454 Posts |
yeah I know what you are saying, my soon to be ex definitely points out every flaw I have ever had to my daughter and up until last August it sometimes worked. Last August my Daughter moved out of her mothers house and in with me because of all the drama. I feel the things that happened between us has nothing to do with my daughter and all she needs to know is we both love her and it had nothing at all to do with her as to why we are no longer together, if anything we tried to stay together longer than we maybe should have because of her
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Pillar of the Community
Canada
1554 Posts |
 Sighting a National divorce rate of 60% and the remaining 40% being miserable in their marriage: I've always felt if most Coin Collectors would have discovered Coin Collecting before they met their spouses, there probably would be a lot less divorces because fewer of us would chosen to have gotten married. Glenn 
Edited by glenzy1 06/12/2012 8:11 pm
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3294 Posts |
 Are you kidding? Coins would be a great way to hide assets in a messy divorce. You can pay cash, and easily hid them. Shoot, a 1901S quarter in G4 is worth 10x its weight in gold (including the weight for the slab). 
Edited by nod2003 06/12/2012 9:22 pm
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Replies: 52 / Views: 10,199 |
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