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 Replies: 29 / Views: 21,865 |
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Moderator
 Australia
16837 Posts |
Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise, you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. - C. S. Lewis
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2189 Posts |
Edited by jasper62
03/03/2010 7:58 pm
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Valued Member
United States
258 Posts |
Not a coin joke but since this forum website also has a paper money forum I thought I would include it...  If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here.." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."  |
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Moderator
United States
188770 Posts |
Quote:This one's been on the Internet for ages: Why coins are better than lizards. If you are crass enough to drill a hole through a coin, cut it out, enamel it, or solder it, at least you won't be picketed by some "Save the Coins Foundation." Oh really?    |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2734 Posts |
The previous message was posted as a public service by jbuck, founder of "Save The Ikes"  Edited by DNA
03/04/2010 10:05 am
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Valued Member
United States
447 Posts |
A little boy wanted $100 and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual,
those jerks deducted $95.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2734 Posts |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
717 Posts |
Quote:
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe.
Then the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay for sure," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent." In walked a second duck & solved the problem. He said, "You can put in on my bill." |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
717 Posts |
If you want to "put your Two Cents in," and I give you "a penny for your thoughts" - where did the other penny go?  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3294 Posts |
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Valued Member
United States
172 Posts |
While everyone knows the answer to the riddle "I have two coins that add to 30 cents and one is not a nickel" is "a quarter and a nickel, because the quarter isn't a nickel," the numismatist's answer is:
A twenty-cent piece and a dime, duh!
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Pillar of the Community
United States
505 Posts |
Oh,Look,see the deer?Does the deer have any doe?...ya,two bucks!..Nyuck Nyuck
-Three Stooges
Edited by Frazzle
03/15/2010 4:41 pm
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Pillar of the Community
United States
717 Posts |
Professor: You with the mattress hair (addressing Larry). Now if I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar, how many dollars would you have? Larry: One dollar. Professor: You don't know your arithmetic! Larry: You don't know my father!  -Three Stooges |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
505 Posts |
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New Member
Belarus
30 Posts |
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Replies: 29 / Views: 21,865 |
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Posted 03/03/2010 7:52 pm
