OK, I had a ton of stories that were absolutely absurd from my drinking days. Some so crazy, I got them second hand myself and in a twisted way, they are funny but rather than re-live all that, I'll tell a sober one.
I used to deliver milk door to door in the 1970's in a Divco.
Here is my photo shop cartoon of who I pretend was me.
I was slim and trim and ran like a gazelle up and down steps with as many as 7 quarts and 4 half gallons of glass milk bottles.
Sometimes I was in and out that door easily 100 times a day.
They looked exactly like these two in the front here of this picture.
Half gallon on the left with the red plastic handle and the quart on the right.
Well, my wife also comes from a family dairy and they also had milk bottles we collect. I was checking out the inventory and this incident came back to me when I saw my bottles.
I was delivering to one of my best customers, On Tuesday they got 4 half gallons and the same again on Saturday without fail. It was Doctor Moore in Orwigsburg and they were good tippers too.
So I didn't mind running all the way around back and up the steps to the patio. If they were awake and home on Saturday mornings, heck I'd put them on the kitchen counter.
So I got to know them pretty well.
One winter there was a terrible freezing rain and I was getting later and later as the morning went on.
When I got to the Doc's house, I grabbed the usual, two half gallons in each hand and I went out the truck.
I had taken my time on those brick steps and made it to the patio and there was the Doc and the Mrs. sitting at the dining room table that looked out onto the patio.
They saw me carefully coming across the patio with my friendly smile when .....
whoosh, I was going down.
As I went down, both my arms flew up over my head and the two in my left hand met up with the two in my right and they smashed directly over my head.
2 gallons of milk completely drenched me and the glass was everywhere around me. I still had 4 plastic handles in my hands sitting on the icy patio in the cold.
I thought they would have a heart attack, but I had fallen many times with glass bottles and only ever suffered a nick or two over that career.
This time, luckily again, I was OK but terribly embarrassed.
So they helped me up and the Mrs sent me to the bathroom and gave me one of Docs bathrobes. They even cleaned up the mess outside pretty good.
I got all cleaned up in the shower while my uniform was in the washer.
Well, I had bacon and eggs and toast and orange juice and we laughed about it until the uniform was all dry and I went out and got them 4 more half gallons but this time, they told me to just leave them in the driveway today.
I made it to every stop that day, I always did.
First Page
Previous Page
Posted 06/02/2012 6:48 pm
