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Replies: 52 / Views: 10,197 |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3294 Posts |
Guess the best practice then is to hide the coins from literally everybody.
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
4411 Posts |
Its a sad thought but maybe nod is right. My thoughts are with you bryan and spider.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1796 Posts |
@Conder101 - He did have a very well-crafted will, and our lawyers are second to none in central NJ... However, it's NJ. :-) The taxes here are horrid, intrusive, and squandered. I realize now, that if I had the strong interest in numismatics then that I have today, I probably could have salvaged the majority of his collection.
Alas, at the time it was not a strong hobby. :-(
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Pillar of the Community
United States
8516 Posts |
Bryan....send that Dansco 7070 to me and I'll slap it in my safe for you till things are settled.
Oregon coin geek.....*** GO BEAVS ! ! ! ***
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1116 Posts |
I firmly believe that the best secret is one that is closely held and definitely not shared unless you positively have to bring someone else in on it.
It has been talked up about the perils of divorce and without a doubt they are very real and should not be taken lightly. When there is an economic downturn the impace is least upon the individual who has the best future income possibility. The reverse is true when there is an economic upswing. You can agrue away future earnings because they are not here yet, but you can't agrue away present earnings.
Therefore there is a good basis for keeping certain things private. A shared secret will always come back to bite you. Sizable off book cash or precious metal reserves are to your benefit.
A secret held by one is much better than a shared secret. They will come back to bite you. I've had both.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
Quote: Guess the best practice then is to hide the coins from literally everybody. Very, very true but rather difficult when your married and a wife has the run of the house. True for a few coins it could be possible, but once you acquire a sort of vast amount of coins, just how do you hide that from someone that is there all the time? Yet due to theft, hiding a coin collection is still really the best thing for today.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
14454 Posts |
the thing that people think about also even when they hide things is that if something was to happen to them they don't want this thing they have had in their possession to go unnoticed when they could use it for their families benefit after they are gone. The one person you usually trust with this information is your wife and maybe kids. This is what makes it difficult for some to keep their hiding places secret from Everyone. I don't know anyone that worries more about their collection than they do about what will happen to their family if something was to happen to them, I am just talking about a Man since I am not sure what kind of things a Woman thinks of when it comes to things like this. A Man is supposed to be the one that provides for the family so I know it definitely weighs on my mind about this type of thing
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
When it comes to divorces I've really met a lot of people over the years that have gone through those. In the state I live in it is sort of well known that a women will get almost everything. There may well be laws saying one thing or another but that seldom matters here. Regardless of who owned what and when, women always end up with the majority of all of everything. And the real problem with this is it's just not money or a house, but they almost always get the kids, collections, cars, etc. One person I knew that was in the Armed forces had a wife that cheated on him all the time he was gone. When he came back she filed for a divorce. He had to go back overseas and was killed there. His now almost exwife still got all the insurance money, all the things he owned, everything. Yes divorces are a mess but if you can walk away, you will still have a chance to recover and move on. Some can't.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
511 Posts |
Thanks to all of you who shared divorce stories. It can't be easy to remember those awful experiences. My wife died 4 years ago, and my situation is easier than what my divorced friends have gone through.
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
14454 Posts |
Quote: My wife died 4 years ago, and my situation is easier than what my divorced friends have gone through. I am going to speak from experience on this one. I was married to my first wife for about 5 years but I had dated her for about 5 years before we got married. She died one moth before her 23rd Birthday (I was 24) and to be honest it was allot harder to deal with than this divorce could ever be. We had a then 4 year old daughter that all of a sudden lost her mother. It wasn't anything I would wish on anyone. Divorce is a horrible thing but there is no way it can compare to death
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1388 Posts |
My condolences to you and your daughter, bryan. As to the hide your collection from everyone, not a good idea. Make sure someone (parents, good friend, etc.) knows so if YOU die suddenly ( hope not) it is not lost and the people that should get it get it.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3294 Posts |
that is what a will is for
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Valued Member
United States
76 Posts |
For those here who went through or are going through a divorce, I was curious to know the reasons why you got divorced. I know it's none of my business but would anyone here care to share? Did any of it have to do with coin/bullion collecting or other reasons such as financial, or infidelity?
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3453 Posts |
I wish I could add something from the female perspective that would help you make sense of it but I can't. When I divorced my son's father I just took 1/2 of savings and only my stuff. I did not fight for the property, I was more concerned about trying to create a stable environment for my son than a protracted battle for real estate or what I thought was an asset. While I am sure I would have walked away with alot more, that would have meant I could not move foward and start the healing process. That was a personal choice that many people do not seem to understand.
I have now remarried to a man who loves coins as well. I tease him and tell him alll the coins are MINE! I do not ever see us divorcing so I will not speculate on what ifs. I am sorry you both are experiencing this, my best to you in the future.
Dawn
Edited by CoinsKelly 05/31/2012 11:00 pm
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Pillar of the Community
 United States
2269 Posts |
Realmetal, I am very comfortable talking about my divorce. I started this thread to share my experience with anyone who might be going or knows someone who is going through a divorce. My passion in life is numismatics as I am sure it is for some. Looking back, I went through a period where my coins took a back seat. I firmly beleive that the healing process begins when the things that always brought you happiness can once again become a positive part in your life. In the last two months, I have rediscovered my passion.
In life some of the best lessons are those you learn from the experiences of others.
That being said, when I was married I was completely faithful to my exwife. Our issues weren't financial, although they became financial during the divorce. A few years ago my exwife was diagnosed with scizoeffective disorder. It is one of more serious personality disorders. There were constant mood changes and she would sometimes become extremely violent. When someone has a serious personality disorder, it becomes quite difficult to get help for them, because they are usually in denial. Sometimes in life you can only try so much.I didn't give up on her until she became physically violent on a regular basis.
Edited by Spider5689 06/01/2012 12:31 am
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Replies: 52 / Views: 10,197 |