A post from a friend of mine, and yes, he is a doctor.
Quote: That is indeed the worst note, but funniest description I have seen on e-Bay in quite some time (a compliment on par with saying that someone is the best Amish break dancer ever, but it comes from the heart :)
Since you mentioned cremation as a possible prelude to delivery, I would like to offer my professional services to you. For a reasonable fee, I will- as a physician licensed in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania- include a complete autopsy report listing the cause of death (probably a chronic fiber deficiency) and time of death (around 1947 by the looks of things).
I regret that I cannot offer to heal the note as I am merely a doctor and not a miracle worker (insert "darn it
Jim" Star Trek reference here). As for my level of experience, I would argue that by treating the elderly I have gained the requisite knowledge since notes are like people- the older they get the scarcer they are; they're both more attractive with fewer wrinkles; no one wants anything to do with them once they're soiled; and after they deteriorate to a certain point it becomes very difficult to find a home for them.
I await your response on this exceptionally serious offer.
-Steven Preston, M.D. (using my title only because it's relevant to the context of the letter
Posted 05/02/2012 12:03 am
