The Big Bang Theory

My late great digging bud, the Birdman used to always tease me about how I detected. He called my pattern the "drunken sailor grid."
Of course I rubbed it in that he swung a Whites and gridded everything off.

Went out today and decided to conduct a serious scientific experiment to support my hypothesis that; (a) a drunken sailor grid is just as effective as a lateral grid (b) that the dsg(drunken sailor grid) is just as fast as a lg(lateral grid) in producing quota.

Here is the test bed.

(a+mdd+bs)+ss divided by Ho x rd @ sf & T= dsg g quota. For the lay man the formula goes as follows;
(age plus metal detector deterioration plus battery strength) added to swing speed divided by hung over times recent drops at school field and time equals drunken sailor grid quota.

Now if you are opposed to that formula the one for the lateral grid quota goes as follows;
ff/rd % uddf x diccohf divided by pl @ pf x T=lg quota.
Again to simplify you the unknowing :
field finds /recent drops and the percentage of an unknown detectorists detected the field times detectorist in complete control of his faculties divided by pure luck at the playing field times time equals lateral grid quota.

With scientific methods adhered to I concluded that the average time for a dsg quota averages out to 2 hours 45 minutes.

The control began as I laterally gridded off the test bed immediately becoming aware that my pencil needed sharpening. No problem as I dug these two pre high school manual operated sharpening devices.

I had to buckle down and exert my massive grey matter.Not be diverted from my experiment...........um did find a buckle too.

Philosophically speaking in a hypothetical manner the incident was totally irrelevant considering all the facts encompassed.

Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! I did by the way,as a byproduct of the experiment unequivocally prove the existence of the "String Theory."

Three hours and 10 minutes later the lg quota was obtained. Lolapalooza! The result was unwarranted in the scientific detectorist community! They think I'm mad....mad you say!