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Replies: 52 / Views: 5,533 |
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Pillar Of The Community
Turkey
1205 Posts |
Sir Wiston Churchill is expected to make a statement to the public. He takes a cab and tells the driver to head for the BBC studios, when they arrive, Churchill asks the driver if he can wait for him (you know the terrible rains of England)
The driver says " I need to go home, Churchill will be speaking to the public on the radio, I want to catch that"
Churchill understands that the driver didn't recognise him, but he is also flattered by his statement. He pays for the taxi fee and gives the driver a great tip.
Driver looks at the money he was given, and says;
"Nevermind Churchill, I'm waiting for you right here sir"
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Formerly nancyc
Australia
5385 Posts |
A Biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died. "Now," he said," What do you learn from this?" An eager student gave his answer. "Well the answer is obvious," he said "If you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
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Formerly nancyc
Australia
5385 Posts |
For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister or brother that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the child to feel the movements of the unborn baby. The five-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Moreover, he stopped telling the teacher about the awaiting event. Finally the teacher sat the child on her lap and said, "Lucas, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home? "Lucas burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
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New Member
 Australia
32 Posts |
thankyou I am trying to chose a winner 
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New Member
 Australia
32 Posts |
quote: Three men climbed a mountain, while on the top of the mountain they found a bottle and when they took out the cork a genie came out. I will grant you each a chance to be any thing you want to be, all you have to do is run to the edge of the cliff and when you jump yell out what you want to be. The first man loved nature so he ran to the cliff and just as he jumped he yelled "Eagle", he turned into a beautiful eagle and flew away. The second man loved song birds so he ran to the cliff and yelled as he jumped "Song Bird" and he turned into a beautiful yellow song bird. The third man loved prehistoric animals so he wanted to be a Pterodactyl so he ran to the cliff edge but just as he made the last step his foot caught in a vine and he started to fall and he yelled "Crap"
 winner is madspec
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Rest in Peace
Australia
661 Posts |
Hi Prawn and all others who offered a joke or story in the competition. Congratulations to 'madspec' on your win. I would also like to congratulate 'garylcsr' on coming in second. Your joke of the 'Circle Flies and the Trooper' really touched a spot with me. Thank you for allowing me to select the second placegetter Prawn. regards all,
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
9406 Posts |
Thanks for the contest, Prawn. Congratulations to Madspec and Garylcsr. Steve   
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1713 Posts |
Thanks for the contest! I really had fun reading through all of these!
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
1262 Posts |
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. "Stanley",responds the little boy." And what is your question, Stanley?" "I have 4 questions Sir: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? "Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don't have health insurance?
Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question? "Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name. "Little Johnnie" he responds." And what is your question, Little Johnnie?" "Actually Sir, I have 6 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what the Hell happened to Stanley?"
(I had to have one last word)
Edited by humpybong 09/18/2007 6:50 pm
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
1360 Posts |
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Valued Member
United States
376 Posts |
Thank you Prawn.
Glad you liked the joke and thanks for the fun contest.
Email me if you need my address.
Thanks
Madspec
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1952 Posts |
wow I didn't expect to win anything I seen some funny stuff here lol I want to thank my Mother lol sorry I just saw the Emmy's and almost got lost in a moment lol Thanks Prawn and Snooba Gary
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
1262 Posts |
Thanks for the competition Prawn.
Found a few new jokes as well.
Congratulations to the winners.
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Rest in Peace
United States
3730 Posts |
This was a good, fun, idea.
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Rest in Peace
Australia
661 Posts |
Yes, a great, good fun idea. On behalf of all the participants, the orginisers and the organising committee, I would like to thank the winners for winning. Seriously, Prawn and Snooba, thanks a million for a good, fun, light hearted competition. regards,
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Replies: 52 / Views: 5,533 |
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