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 Replies: 18 / Views: 2,849 |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
560 Posts |
You gotta love Grandmas...This sounds good and fair to me; I think she'll be thrilled that someone else was able to benefit from this.
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Pillar of the Community
 United States
2669 Posts |
Quote:
How old is Grandma, is her eyesight decent for age, and is she comfortable using a computer? Grandma is 59, and is very comfortable with both computer hardware and with doing research online  Quote:
Since it was amongst family I would think it almost rude to try and pay her for the coin. She has no interest, so she gave the coins as a gift. This should not be confused with an excuse to just take high valued items under the radar since she does not know any better. But I would also have a very clear conversation with her about her intentions before I ran too far with any feelings of guilt. She does have *some* interest - she does save older coins she knows are silver and strange ones like a dime I 2x2'ed for her that is missing the clad layer. That being said - she doesn't really have any 'proof' that what I tend to run on about has any real value, which will change quickly when learning about this one! Plus, she could really use the money. Quote:
Just let him enjoy the coin to its fullest as it will no doubt be in high ranking honors in his collection. That's why I wanted to keep it in the family, so we could all enjoy it - he has a collection and so do I. I really would hate to sell it, as we have so few key dates. You're probably right though - I've thought about just asking her what she thinks about the whole thing. I'm sure she's forgotten all about the bag of coins and is probably gathering some more for him for Christmas. |
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Moderator
 United States
56855 Posts |
Here's my Two Cents, pardon the pun  . I would keep it in the family. Depending on how many times you tried to get grandma into coin collecting, try the three strikes rule, she may not want to be a coin collector. If that's the case then you should not force any one into a hobby they have little or no interest in. Just my humble opinion, John1  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2335 Posts |
 If Grandma doesn't want to learn about coin collecting there isn't any point in trying to force her. As far as this coin goes......I'd just let her know it's a $1500 coin & ask if she wants it back. Before I did that I'd make sure the $1500 figure was what I could sell it for on ebay or whatever, not what a dealer might be asking. No point in raising expectations beyond what the coin would sell for by an individual. |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
Based on several past experiences with coins, stamps, other collectable types within a family or even close freinds, is the following: DO NOT GET INVOLVED.
If grandma wants to give coins to a member of the family, so be it and just keep yourself out of the situation. Regardless of what they are, how much they are worth, who should or shouldn't get them, DO NOT GET INVOLVED.
With a family or close friends when these situations pop up, someone will always say how you cheated this or that person. Yes those coins were worth MILLIONS and that is why you did what you did. Or I wonder how many of those you pocketed? Who are you going to sell them to? And on and on and on with the whispering, back stabbing, horror stories of what you did or tried to do. Ends up with so many people no longer talking to each other ever again.
Maybe this is not true with you or your family but I've seen this way to many times.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
Unfortunately, that's a valid point, just carl.. people can get really weird when there is money involved. Now that I am already involved, though, I will have to say something, otherwise I *will* feel guilty. She doesn't have too many people to whisper to (very small family) so if she wants to be peeved, I'll probably just get the silent treatment for a while  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this, by the way..  Thanks for all the advice. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2130 Posts |
I would get it slabbed  |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
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Unfortunately, that's a valid point, just carl.. people can get really weird when there is money involved.
Now that I am already involved, though, I will have to say something, otherwise I *will* feel guilty. She doesn't have too many people to whisper to (very small family) so if she wants to be peeved, I'll probably just get the silent treatment for a while
It's not necessarily her that would do the talking about you, it's all the others. Usually it's cousins, nephews or even aunts and uncles that do all this stuff about how you cheated that poor old person. And in a death in the family and no will, it's amazing what happens. It did in my family and a lot of loss of property due to excessive fighting over who has or should have what. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
Even if there IS a will, it doesn't matter - it's whoever gets there first. The Race of the Vultures (tm). Yah, I've seen that one  People who will get snarky over something like this have probably already gone there over something else. God knows what they already say - some people just have too much time on their hands. I guess I'll need to warn my son about potential consequences - he's chomping at the bit to tell his Grandma about it because he thinks we are 'hiding' it from her (lying by omission). It's good, in a way - shows he has morals and doesn't want to get one over on anyone (yet) - but the potential backlash may take him a bit by surprise. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
532 Posts |
What about letting HIM speak to her about it.
Be present so there is no finger pointing of puppy dog eyes in his part. You say he already is yearning to speak with her about it. That does show some great potential for character on his part. Letting him handle this situation might be a great way for him to see the larger picture in terms of cause and effect where integrity and character are important. Made me smile that he wants to speak to her, he obviously wants the coin. But to show integrity about clarity of his actions is definitely notable in youth these days.
Just thought to toss it out there. Good luck.
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Valued Member
United States
436 Posts |
If it was me, I may sell the coin, but in no way would I keep half. Give her the money the coin fetches (she's family!). If she then offers some of it back, then o.k., take it. But if this is to be a learning process for her, why punish her with only half the money?  Am I the only one that thinks this way? |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1840 Posts |
Please don't take offense, but... I have a problem "buying" the coin from the recipient. The parent has no right. What would you rather have, an heirloom from your grandmother or half of the money that the heirloom is worth? I have a lithograph that once belonged to my great-great grandfather. While it does have significant monetary value, there is no price that I would be willing to sell it for. I would probably be a little bitter if my mom had it hanging in her living room and I had half of the cash that it was worth. Instead of buying it, maybe some one should explain the value, both sentimental and intrinsic, to the recipient. Then let him know that, should he want to part with it, he should offer to sell it to a family member first. Quote:
People who will get snarky over something like this have probably already gone there over something else. God knows what they already say - some people just have too much time on their hands. The same thing happened with my family, just not with coins. The consensus from the more upstanding members of the family was to gratefully take what was given to us and keep our mouths shut. That way no one felt cheated, no feelings were hurt and grandma didn't have to deal with the sour grapes. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
5632 Posts |
I think between "just carl and RFB, it has all been said.
Also a will is" a persons last wishes for their property and belongings", and how they would like things to be handled, all said, this is entering a large grey area, people in the "family" will always have something to say!Good luck
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Valued Member
United States
106 Posts |
Pick a fair price and buy it from your son, but otherwise don't mention it. (a) People who don't want to collect coins probably don't want to know about how stupid they may be by not knowing their values. (b) Your son probably would prefer the cash. (c) People who don't collect coins shouldn't be entrusted with them. Heck, people who do collect coins regularly lose them.
Knowing stuff about coins is a useful way of buying low and selling high. But that's all it is. If you were a real estate agent and grandma gifted your family some real estate the principles would be the same. Or if you were given some old stock certificates and some of them turned out to be valuable. Just because you know something doesn't mean you have an obligation to tell everyone else about it (or that it's a good idea).
If someone accuses you of making money off of a coin, whether it's a relative or not, the response is something like:
"Coin collecting has been an expensive hobby, I only wish it were able to pay for itself."
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Posted 11/05/2009 07:19 am
