The spidey sense never fails. I got the jitters and the shakes, and against my better judgement I pulled up
ebay and typed in the vague term "ancient coin lot". Lo and behold...
Eastern Roman Empire
Marcian, 450-457
AE4 Nummus
DN MARCI[ANVS PF AVG], Diademed bust right
Marcian's monogram 5a within wreath
RIC X 541?

I've only seen a handful of this type where Marcian doesn't look like a potato on the obverse.
Coins averaged out to be under $6 each; less than $30 after all was said and done.