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 Replies: 18 / Views: 2,822 |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
Ok.. here's the situation.. (no, this is not an 80's rap song...  ) Grandma gives grandchild a bag of foreign coins. One of the coins turns out to be a key date and is worth $1500. Grandma has no clue about coin collecting, even though her daughter has not only tried to teach her, but even put certain coins in her mother's "stash" in 2x2's with notes not to get rid of and what the coins are worth, etc, and has pointed her toward numerous sites and books to educate her on the real worth of coins as a whole and as individuals. Daughter's proposed solution: Buy the coin from son. Son will gift his Grandmother with HALF the coin's monetary value, and place the other half in his college fund. Mother will keep coin in case it needs to be sold (again, haha) to supplement college fund later. The reason Grandma is only being sent HALF the proceeds is to convince her of the value of checking her coin values. This would actually require her to gain a bit of knowledge in this field, and that would make her a coin collector, albeit on the fringe.. maybe even later getting more involved (one can dream, right?). Does this sound like a good compromise? Do I have too high of hopes for Grandma? |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
12437 Posts |
How old is Grandma, is her eyesight decent for age, and is she comfortable using a computer?
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Valued Member
United States
280 Posts |
i had the same situation except the coin value was $700, my grandma gave me a bag full of old silver coins and there was an old roman coin in there. I brought the coin to a local guy who is familiar with ancient coins and he offered me $700 I told him no and am waiting for the value to go up. My grandma said that I should put the money of the coin toward my college. If I were grandma and had that coin laying around in my house id start checking every coin in the house.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
532 Posts |
I think a clear direct conversation would be better. Explaining that the coin's/gift's actual monetary value in question may have not been realized at time of the gesture. Like any gift, at this point I would give it back freely.
You must also take into account that while it may have a high value, the value is relative. Be prepared that she may just simply not care enough about coins to keep track of their value. Money is money, but often assigned values of items when gifted amongst family or friends is irrelevant. I have given away very high priced coins because someone else can enjoy them. To me it spoils the hobby to have my interests dictated by book values. I cannot advise to give away the farm with no respect to the translated monetary impact. I do however put less emphasis on exact amounts when it is among family or friends regarding gifts.
I think if you were to bring the argument to the table of dangerous behavior with such high valued coins or items in general this would be a good example for emphasis, but not to be used as an opportunity to scold. If just pointing it out and leaving the door doesn't snap her eyes open,...then I wouldn't worry about it. Just let him enjoy the coin to its fullest as it will no doubt be in high ranking honors in his collection.
Since it was amongst family I would think it almost rude to try and pay her for the coin. She has no interest, so she gave the coins as a gift. This should not be confused with an excuse to just take high valued items under the radar since she does not know any better. But I would also have a very clear conversation with her about her intentions before I ran too far with any feelings of guilt.
No I am not just using creative methods to justify what has happened, but taking the step back and viewing it like any other gift among friends, family or whoever. If I give my neighbor a camera I have had for years and not used....then he comes to me three days later feeling guilty and says "OMG that camera has lenses alone worth over 2500! I can't accept this"... I say well then use them well! Any pangs of "Awe shoot. I should have put that sucker up for auction" are quickly vanished from my thoughts as it was a gift. I wanted him to have it.
I have rambled enough but those are my thoughts. -RFB
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Pillar of the Community
United States
560 Posts |
You gotta love Grandmas...This sounds good and fair to me; I think she'll be thrilled that someone else was able to benefit from this.
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Pillar of the Community
 United States
2669 Posts |
Quote:
How old is Grandma, is her eyesight decent for age, and is she comfortable using a computer? Grandma is 59, and is very comfortable with both computer hardware and with doing research online  Quote:
Since it was amongst family I would think it almost rude to try and pay her for the coin. She has no interest, so she gave the coins as a gift. This should not be confused with an excuse to just take high valued items under the radar since she does not know any better. But I would also have a very clear conversation with her about her intentions before I ran too far with any feelings of guilt. She does have *some* interest - she does save older coins she knows are silver and strange ones like a dime I 2x2'ed for her that is missing the clad layer. That being said - she doesn't really have any 'proof' that what I tend to run on about has any real value, which will change quickly when learning about this one! Plus, she could really use the money. Quote:
Just let him enjoy the coin to its fullest as it will no doubt be in high ranking honors in his collection. That's why I wanted to keep it in the family, so we could all enjoy it - he has a collection and so do I. I really would hate to sell it, as we have so few key dates. You're probably right though - I've thought about just asking her what she thinks about the whole thing. I'm sure she's forgotten all about the bag of coins and is probably gathering some more for him for Christmas. |
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Moderator
 United States
56855 Posts |
Here's my Two Cents, pardon the pun . I would keep it in the family. Depending on how many times you tried to get grandma into coin collecting, try the three strikes rule, she may not want to be a coin collector. If that's the case then you should not force any one into a hobby they have little or no interest in. Just my humble opinion, John1  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2335 Posts |
 If Grandma doesn't want to learn about coin collecting there isn't any point in trying to force her. As far as this coin goes......I'd just let her know it's a $1500 coin & ask if she wants it back. Before I did that I'd make sure the $1500 figure was what I could sell it for on ebay or whatever, not what a dealer might be asking. No point in raising expectations beyond what the coin would sell for by an individual. |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
Based on several past experiences with coins, stamps, other collectable types within a family or even close freinds, is the following: DO NOT GET INVOLVED.
If grandma wants to give coins to a member of the family, so be it and just keep yourself out of the situation. Regardless of what they are, how much they are worth, who should or shouldn't get them, DO NOT GET INVOLVED.
With a family or close friends when these situations pop up, someone will always say how you cheated this or that person. Yes those coins were worth MILLIONS and that is why you did what you did. Or I wonder how many of those you pocketed? Who are you going to sell them to? And on and on and on with the whispering, back stabbing, horror stories of what you did or tried to do. Ends up with so many people no longer talking to each other ever again.
Maybe this is not true with you or your family but I've seen this way to many times.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
Unfortunately, that's a valid point, just carl.. people can get really weird when there is money involved. Now that I am already involved, though, I will have to say something, otherwise I *will* feel guilty. She doesn't have too many people to whisper to (very small family) so if she wants to be peeved, I'll probably just get the silent treatment for a while  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this, by the way..  Thanks for all the advice. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2130 Posts |
I would get it slabbed  |
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Bedrock of the Community
United States
20753 Posts |
Quote:
Unfortunately, that's a valid point, just carl.. people can get really weird when there is money involved.
Now that I am already involved, though, I will have to say something, otherwise I *will* feel guilty. She doesn't have too many people to whisper to (very small family) so if she wants to be peeved, I'll probably just get the silent treatment for a while
It's not necessarily her that would do the talking about you, it's all the others. Usually it's cousins, nephews or even aunts and uncles that do all this stuff about how you cheated that poor old person. And in a death in the family and no will, it's amazing what happens. It did in my family and a lot of loss of property due to excessive fighting over who has or should have what. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2669 Posts |
Even if there IS a will, it doesn't matter - it's whoever gets there first. The Race of the Vultures (tm). Yah, I've seen that one  People who will get snarky over something like this have probably already gone there over something else. God knows what they already say - some people just have too much time on their hands. I guess I'll need to warn my son about potential consequences - he's chomping at the bit to tell his Grandma about it because he thinks we are 'hiding' it from her (lying by omission). It's good, in a way - shows he has morals and doesn't want to get one over on anyone (yet) - but the potential backlash may take him a bit by surprise. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
532 Posts |
What about letting HIM speak to her about it.
Be present so there is no finger pointing of puppy dog eyes in his part. You say he already is yearning to speak with her about it. That does show some great potential for character on his part. Letting him handle this situation might be a great way for him to see the larger picture in terms of cause and effect where integrity and character are important. Made me smile that he wants to speak to her, he obviously wants the coin. But to show integrity about clarity of his actions is definitely notable in youth these days.
Just thought to toss it out there. Good luck.
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Valued Member
United States
436 Posts |
If it was me, I may sell the coin, but in no way would I keep half. Give her the money the coin fetches (she's family!). If she then offers some of it back, then o.k., take it. But if this is to be a learning process for her, why punish her with only half the money?  Am I the only one that thinks this way? |
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Replies: 18 / Views: 2,822 |
Posted 11/04/2009 10:01 pm
