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 Replies: 23 / Views: 2,851 |
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Valued Member
 United States
148 Posts |
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My advice, and believe I have LOTS of it, is to be honest with yourself about this. Do you want to own this coin FOREVER? or for awhile? Would you sell it if you had to replace the furnace/ the roof/ the car? Or would you finance those things? Add the cost of interest onto that coin if your savings aren't enough to cover emergencies. I would never buy a coin with money I might need, but I always think it's good to caution against it because a lot of people will unfortunately put themselves in a bad spot buying something and needing to liquidate it later. I have a year's expenses in the bank and no debt including my house. A $1,700 coin doesn't move the needle for our finances and she knows this. Quote:
Next, think about things she's wanted and you thought weren't important or worth the money. Did she defer to your wishes or just go ahead and do what she wanted? Maybe it's this. I hate hate hate spending money and having nothing to show for it and maybe she sees the coins as "spending money" in the same way as buying consumables. |
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Pillar of the Community
Japan
666 Posts |
I tried to educate my wife ... tried any possible way ... failed
then I've started buying, small quantities ... getting questions: why did you spend money for this? for that? ... then I've started selling some in order to replace for a better stuff and showing how much WE were better off ... long story short, one day we had a conversation and I asked about her opinion if she cares where the money goes - her answer: don't care what you do. The only thing I know - you will not waste the money.
Time to time I show her some metal I've bought in order to see how she feels about the stuff, but so far no interest ))
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
7096 Posts |
If this coin purchase is going to cause any problems in the family simply walk away from it  Why not just make small purchases of silver that won't affect the family budget and amass enough over time so that you can flip the silver to purchase the gold you want. Take it from me ,If you upset or try to deceive the "Boss of the House" it will end up in pain and heartache. If the missus isn't keen on the investment , don't do it. Remember a happy Wife = a Happy life  |
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Valued Member
United States
112 Posts |
I am not married (yet) but wanted to thank everyone for the thread; some great shared experiences to help us be better along the way.
I know I put honesty at the top of my most important traits for partners, but my youth isn't so naive as to oversimplify such situations like those being discussed. Keep the advice coming... I am almost positive everyone on this site seeks some wisdom (even beyond coin knowledge!).
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2661 Posts |
This will not help short term but may come in handy in the long haul. My wife would make fun of me back in the day because of what she called my "habit" My wife liked teddy bears and especially Panda Bears. So when I first discovered the Chinese Panda I came up with what I like to think is one of the worlds best ever cons. I bought her a 1oz Silver Panda. Now she collects those as well as the Australian Lunar, ASE's, Bank Notes, and buys me things like the 4 PCGS Sacs that are sitting on my desk right now. She also attends coin shows with me. After 27 years of marriage coin & currency collecting gives us another reason to spend time together, unlike most of the people that I personally know who look for a reason to get out of the house away from their spouse. However!, I am still working on the metal detecting thing with no sign of success for the last 4 years. Edited by Tim Stroud
12/21/2012 05:51 am
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Valued Member
United States
151 Posts |
I couldn't agree more with trout1105.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
7840 Posts |
 I have a friend who plopped down for an St Gaudens (PCGS MS64 CAC) and gave his wife a comparable amount (if not more) of jewelry for Christmas. Keeping the scales balanced I reckon. Edited by oih82w8
12/21/2012 07:43 am
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
7096 Posts |
Quote:This will not help short term but may come in handy in the long haul. My wife would make fun of me back in the day because of what she called my "habit" My wife liked teddy bears and especially Panda Bears. So when I first discovered the Chinese Panda I came up with what I like to think is one of the worlds best ever cons. I bought her a 1oz Silver Panda. Now she collects those as well as the Australian Lunar, ASE's, Bank Notes, and buys me things like the 4 PCGS Sacs that are sitting on my desk right now. She also attends coin shows with me. After 27 years of marriage coin & currency collecting gives us another reason to spend time together, unlike most of the people that I personally know who look for a reason to get out of the house away from their spouse. However!, I am still working on the metal detecting thing with no sign of success for the last 4 years. Great outcome Tim, You lucky bugger  |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1391 Posts |
I think you are asking the wrong questions. Why aren't you onboard with her hobby?
Because you don't care about it, don't understand it and think it is stupid. (My interpretation of what you said about quilting and sending fabric to her grandmother).
Realistically you need to take any of the "extra" or "spending money" and set it aside. Then split it in half. That way there are no suprise charges because the cash you have is yours/hers, free to spend it how each of you wants.
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Valued Member
United States
344 Posts |
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I don't recall who posted it recently, but he got his wife on board by making a deal. The same amount of money he spends on collecting coins, she can spend on what she wanted. Shortly after I got married - many years ago. I wanted to go to Reno to do some drinking and gambling. My wife does not gamble, nor does she drink. We compromised. She always loved the things available for her to do at Circus Circus so we stayed there. Around the second day the following conversation took place: Wife: Do you have $20? Me: What for? Wife: You know those games with the claw, where you maneuver it around, press the button, and the claw drops down and attempts to grab a prize. I want to play that. It costs $5 a try - they're gigantic prizes. Me: Why do you want to do that?! That's a waste of money! Wife: Remind me, how much have you lost at the tables? Me (peeling off a $50): Here you go. I can be extremely tight with a buck. This conversation put it all in perspective. It was one of the greatest lessons I learned about marriage. What I enjoy spending money on is not necessarily the same things my wife enjoys and vice-versa. Quote:The deal where I buy coins and she buys other stuff got tried once and never again. Last time I bought 4 ASE she went and got a $55 massage and then spent $113 at the craft store plus $13 in postage to mail the fabric to her grandma. I honestly couldn't believe it when I saw the charges. Yesterday after coming home from the LCS this conversation took place: Me (gleefully): Honey look at the silver I bought! Wife: And how much did you spend at the coin store? Me (handing her $100): Here you go. Wife: I think I'll buy a new coat and get a haircut. Lesson #2. I hunt, she nests. Wife thinks in day-to-day short term needs - coat, haircut, etc. I think more in longer term needs - saving for a rainy day, investments, economy. Quote:
Remember a happy Wife = a Happy life  If she is happy - with what I consider - frittering our money away, I'm happy. This has not come easy, I've had to force myself at the beginning. After all, she probably thinks I'm frittering away our money on coins, silver and gold. Remember - hunt, nest. ==================== Postscript to the claw story. My wife actually won a gigantic prize. It was almost as big as my wife. We were riding the tram back to our room/car (I can't remember which). This older lady was sitting across from us: Lady: Oh how romantic, he won that for you. Wife (grinning ear-to-ear): Nope, I won it myself. |
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Pillar of the Community
Canada
1528 Posts |
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Explain it to her like this. PM's are not an investment, they are a safeguard. If you buy the 1oz coin, you are not getting rid of that money. You are simply converting it into another form. Most of the time, PM's stay the same, with occasionally bubbles, dips, and bursts. However, the money you "converted" will almost all of the time remain there for you to cash in any time you want. I hope I helped. +1 Quote:This will not help short term but may come in handy in the long haul. My wife would make fun of me back in the day because of what she called my "habit" My wife liked teddy bears and especially Panda Bears. So when I first discovered the Chinese Panda I came up with what I like to think is one of the worlds best ever cons. I bought her a 1oz Silver Panda. Now she collects those as well as the Australian Lunar, ASE's, Bank Notes, and buys me things like the 4 PCGS Sacs that are sitting on my desk right now. She also attends coin shows with me. After 27 years of marriage coin & currency collecting gives us another reason to spend time together, unlike most of the people that I personally know who look for a reason to get out of the house away from their spouse. However!, I am still working on the metal detecting thing with no sign of success for the last 4 years. I totally agree with the above advice. I did something similar. I entice her with some of the "cute" coins and even though I may disagree with some of her purchases, I did let her buy what she wants. I later have her help sell some of my coins and she see the difference betweem my purchases and her. I do stress to her that not all coins are profitable but there's potential for future gain. |
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3486 Posts |
I offer my experience with my sister. She had no interest in coins. It was I who have managed three generations of the family's holdings. She told me, "I have complete confidence that you know what you are doing." This continued for many years. One day I hit upon a brain storm: Rose's interest in fine old jewelry could be used as a bridge!  "Rose," I said, "coins and jewelry are a lot alike. There are many pieces of both which are not at all special. Others are too modern or too gaudy. But, when you come upon a piece which is special, which speaks to you, well, you know THAT feeling, right?" BINGO!  Major breakthrough. Last Easter I showed her a coin which I had just purchased: a 1900-O Dime, PCGS XF45, with a strike most uncommon for New Orleans that year. SHARP! Color magnificent. Price, OUCH! Well, Rose examined the obverse, and then the reverse She did so again. All she had to say in the end was: "I can see why you bought this." Twice this year I went to Manchester NH to help staff an educational coin exhibit. Twice this year, with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's mom, she went to West Ossipee NH for three days and two nights of quilting. Another passion of hers. We share these adventures with each other. It may not be reasonable to expect a spouse or a sibling to embrace your interests. But it IS reasonable and necessary for a couple to take an interest in the joy that each other gets from these interests. The only down side has been that Rose now disagrees with my grading!  I guess that I have taught her a little TOO well!   |
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Rest in Peace
United States
7075 Posts |
tzarmarko I love, love, LOVE what you wrote about coins/PMs being a safeguard. That's is an excellent way to define it.
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Valued Member
United States
148 Posts |
Thanks Guys. I really like the hunt/nest idea.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
4008 Posts |
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However!, I am still working on the metal detecting thing with no sign of success for the last 4 years. Perhaps a bit of relatively harmless skulduggery is in order? You could always "lose" a favorite ring of hers in the yard some place, fail to find it, "borrow" a metal detector, and then "find" it for her. If that doesn't generate at least a little warm and fuzzy for the idea, it's a lost cause.  |
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Replies: 23 / Views: 2,851 |
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First Page
Posted 12/21/2012 12:19 am
