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 Replies: 23 / Views: 2,853 |
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Valued Member
United States
148 Posts |
Does anyone have any advice for getting their wife on board with some of the bigger ticket items? I have a friend who has offered me a 1oz Gold Maple at spot so he can buy an M4 before they're banned and my wife has no interest in "us" buying this coin.
I have a good job. I could just cash my paycheck and buy it, but I don't think that's how good marriages work. It's taken a lot of work to get her involved in the limited amount she is in our finances.
I don't want to call it an "investment" because that will confuse her. It took me years to teach her a house we live in is not an "investment" because it doesn't produce anything, it consumes money, and a coin is somewhat along the same principle as our residence. I don't want to scare her with collapse of society stuff because then it will make her want to do "prepper" crap like her mother is into.
Any advise on a good way to explain this not as an investment and not reinforce my MIL theories about society collapsing would be appreciated.
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Pillar of the Community
614 Posts |
Explain it to her like this. PM's are not an investment, they are a safeguard. If you buy the 1oz coin, you are not getting rid of that money. You are simply converting it into another form. Most of the time, PM's stay the same, with occasionally bubbles, dips, and bursts. However, the money you "converted" will almost all of the time remain there for you to cash in any time you want. I hope I helped.
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Moderator
 United States
14463 Posts |
I don't recall who posted it recently, but he got his wife on board by making a deal. The same amount of money he spends on collecting coins, she can spend on what she wanted.
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Valued Member
 United States
148 Posts |
Quote:
Explain it to her like this. PM's are not an investment, they are a safeguard. If you buy the 1oz coin, you are not getting rid of that money. You are simply converting it into another form. Most of the time, PM's stay the same, with occasionally bubbles, dips, and bursts. However, the money you "converted" will almost all of the time remain there for you to cash in any time you want. I hope I helped. That is really helpful, thank you. The deal where I buy coins and she buys other stuff got tried once and never again. Last time I bought 4 ASE she went and got a $55 massage and then spent $113 at the craft store plus $13 in postage to mail the fabric to her grandma. I honestly couldn't believe it when I saw the charges  |
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Rest in Peace
United States
7075 Posts |
I've been a wife for over three decades and you are quite right not to buy a big ticket item without telling her. Imagine how she would feel if and when she found out -- and if years go buy before she finds out it will only add to her despair.
My advice, and believe I have LOTS of it, is to be honest with yourself about this. Do you want to own this coin FOREVER? or for awhile? Would you sell it if you had to replace the furnace/ the roof/ the car? Or would you finance those things? Add the cost of interest onto that coin if your savings aren't enough to cover emergencies.
Next, think about things she's wanted and you thought weren't important or worth the money. Did she defer to your wishes or just go ahead and do what she wanted?
Treat her the way you would like to be treated.
I sometimes find myself feeling a bit bewildered at how fast the years have raced by and of all the things that came and went in my life, the one constant was that I knew who was at home for me.
Don't let a coin become too important.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3453 Posts |
Buddy, you took the words out of my mouth.
When my husband talks investments, I get very nervous. When he talks about his financial strategy about things, it makes sense to me. It is all part of our future and that is the life we are building. While we both collect coins, we discuss all financial purchases to make sure we are on the same page.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
3453 Posts |
As a follow up, I can think of two big financial things that we decided to follow my gut on. My gut was right on one, wrong on the other. But since we both made the decision, my husband holds no ill will. I have asked about the failure and he reminds me that is now what we are about.
I usually trust his gut now - he is running about 80% right to my 50% right! (But don't tell him I said he was right!)
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2543 Posts |
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I don't recall who posted it recently, but he got his wife on board by making a deal. The same amount of money he spends on collecting coins, she can spend on what she wanted This is really the only way, they either understand ( or ideally, are willing to accept without understanding ) or not. Very few are successful in " getting them on board " My new Harley cost me the bike and a bedroom set. My new Pick up cost me the truck and new appliances. The compromise we made is , she loves to ride on the Harley, I like to sleep in the bed. She uses the Pickup, I like to eat. If I invest in PM's, it is for the both of us, but she gets to do what she likes, but we pick it together, curtains, flower beds, interior decor. While she considers what I do hoarding and what she does an investment in our home, doing it together helps keep the expenses pretty even. Quote:
It took me years to teach her a house we live in is not an "investment" because it doesn't produce anything We rolled over our first house for a $75,000 profit, our second for a $90,000 profit, our last home for a $120,000 profit above and beyond what we put into it. Edited by denco7
12/20/2012 11:23 pm
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Valued Member
United States
151 Posts |
Quote:Last time I bought 4 ASE she went and got a $55 massage and then spent $113 at the craft store plus $13 in postage to mail the fabric to her grandma. I honestly couldn't believe it when I saw the charges I get the sense that you're both relatively young from reading this (although I could be way off). Why not try again with a few stipulations. For example, you do all the massaging, and she can buy craft supplies for her grandma only if they're for her to make quilts for your family (quilts are typically worth way more than the material, and make great keepsakes for any children you have/may have). Most wives I know spend money on those kinds of things as a matter of course, whether or not the husbands think it's money well spent . . . perhaps you have a different experience . . . |
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Valued Member
United States
148 Posts |
Quote:
My advice, and believe I have LOTS of it, is to be honest with yourself about this. Do you want to own this coin FOREVER? or for awhile? Would you sell it if you had to replace the furnace/ the roof/ the car? Or would you finance those things? Add the cost of interest onto that coin if your savings aren't enough to cover emergencies. I would never buy a coin with money I might need, but I always think it's good to caution against it because a lot of people will unfortunately put themselves in a bad spot buying something and needing to liquidate it later. I have a year's expenses in the bank and no debt including my house. A $1,700 coin doesn't move the needle for our finances and she knows this. Quote:
Next, think about things she's wanted and you thought weren't important or worth the money. Did she defer to your wishes or just go ahead and do what she wanted? Maybe it's this. I hate hate hate spending money and having nothing to show for it and maybe she sees the coins as "spending money" in the same way as buying consumables. |
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Pillar of the Community
Japan
666 Posts |
I tried to educate my wife ... tried any possible way ... failed
then I've started buying, small quantities ... getting questions: why did you spend money for this? for that? ... then I've started selling some in order to replace for a better stuff and showing how much WE were better off ... long story short, one day we had a conversation and I asked about her opinion if she cares where the money goes - her answer: don't care what you do. The only thing I know - you will not waste the money.
Time to time I show her some metal I've bought in order to see how she feels about the stuff, but so far no interest ))
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Pillar of the Community
Australia
7096 Posts |
If this coin purchase is going to cause any problems in the family simply walk away from it  Why not just make small purchases of silver that won't affect the family budget and amass enough over time so that you can flip the silver to purchase the gold you want. Take it from me ,If you upset or try to deceive the "Boss of the House" it will end up in pain and heartache. If the missus isn't keen on the investment , don't do it. Remember a happy Wife = a Happy life  |
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Valued Member
United States
112 Posts |
I am not married (yet) but wanted to thank everyone for the thread; some great shared experiences to help us be better along the way.
I know I put honesty at the top of my most important traits for partners, but my youth isn't so naive as to oversimplify such situations like those being discussed. Keep the advice coming... I am almost positive everyone on this site seeks some wisdom (even beyond coin knowledge!).
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Pillar of the Community
United States
2661 Posts |
This will not help short term but may come in handy in the long haul. My wife would make fun of me back in the day because of what she called my "habit" My wife liked teddy bears and especially Panda Bears. So when I first discovered the Chinese Panda I came up with what I like to think is one of the worlds best ever cons. I bought her a 1oz Silver Panda. Now she collects those as well as the Australian Lunar, ASE's, Bank Notes, and buys me things like the 4 PCGS Sacs that are sitting on my desk right now. She also attends coin shows with me. After 27 years of marriage coin & currency collecting gives us another reason to spend time together, unlike most of the people that I personally know who look for a reason to get out of the house away from their spouse. However!, I am still working on the metal detecting thing with no sign of success for the last 4 years. Edited by Tim Stroud
12/21/2012 05:51 am
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Valued Member
United States
151 Posts |
I couldn't agree more with trout1105.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
7840 Posts |
 I have a friend who plopped down for an St Gaudens (PCGS MS64 CAC) and gave his wife a comparable amount (if not more) of jewelry for Christmas. Keeping the scales balanced I reckon. Edited by oih82w8
12/21/2012 07:43 am
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Replies: 23 / Views: 2,853 |
Posted 12/20/2012 10:06 pm
