Getting The Wife On Board With This Hobby

Great outcome Tim, You lucky bugger

Shortly after I got married - many years ago. I wanted to go to Reno to do some drinking and gambling. My wife does not gamble, nor does she drink. We compromised. She always loved the things available for her to do at Circus Circus so we stayed there.

Around the second day the following conversation took place:

Wife: Do you have $20?
Me: What for?
Wife: You know those games with the claw, where you maneuver it around, press the button, and the claw drops down and attempts to grab a prize. I want to play that. It costs $5 a try - they're gigantic prizes.
Me: Why do you want to do that?! That's a waste of money!
Wife: Remind me, how much have you lost at the tables?
Me (peeling off a $50): Here you go.

I can be extremely tight with a buck. This conversation put it all in perspective. It was one of the greatest lessons I learned about marriage. What I enjoy spending money on is not necessarily the same things my wife enjoys and vice-versa.




Yesterday after coming home from the LCS this conversation took place:

Me (gleefully): Honey look at the silver I bought!
Wife: And how much did you spend at the coin store?
Me (handing her $100): Here you go.
Wife: I think I'll buy a new coat and get a haircut.

Lesson #2. I hunt, she nests. Wife thinks in day-to-day short term needs - coat, haircut, etc. I think more in longer term needs - saving for a rainy day, investments, economy.






If she is happy - with what I consider - frittering our money away, I'm happy. This has not come easy, I've had to force myself at the beginning. After all, she probably thinks I'm frittering away our money on coins, silver and gold.

Remember - hunt, nest.

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Postscript to the claw story. My wife actually won a gigantic prize. It was almost as big as my wife. We were riding the tram back to our room/car (I can't remember which). This older lady was sitting across from us:

Lady: Oh how romantic, he won that for you.
Wife (grinning ear-to-ear): Nope, I won it myself.

I offer my experience with my sister.

She had no interest in coins. It was I who have managed three generations of the family's holdings.
She told me, "I have complete confidence that you know what you are doing."
This continued for many years. One day I hit upon a brain storm: Rose's
interest in fine old jewelry could be used as a bridge!

"Rose," I said, "coins and jewelry are a lot alike. There are many pieces of both which are not at all special.
Others are too modern or too gaudy. But, when you come upon a piece which is special, which speaks to you,
well, you know THAT feeling, right?"

BINGO! Major breakthrough. Last Easter I showed her a coin which I had just purchased:
a 1900-O Dime, PCGS XF45, with a strike most uncommon for New Orleans that year. SHARP!
Color magnificent. Price, OUCH!

Well, Rose examined the obverse, and then the reverse She did so again.
All she had to say in the end was:

"I can see why you bought this."

Twice this year I went to Manchester NH to help staff an educational coin exhibit.
Twice this year, with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's mom, she went to West Ossipee NH for three days
and two nights of quilting. Another passion of hers. We share these adventures with each other.

It may not be reasonable to expect a spouse or a sibling to embrace your interests. But it IS reasonable
and necessary for a couple to take an interest in the joy that each other gets from these interests.

The only down side has been that Rose now disagrees with my grading!
I guess that I have taught her a little TOO well!

Thanks Guys. I really like the hunt/nest idea.