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 Replies: 34 / Views: 5,737 |
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Pillar of the Community
Korea, Republic Of
1881 Posts |
I don't post new topics all that much, but I think this one's worthy of it. I showed my friend, a fellow collector, my small collection of Ameican coins. Nothing big, some BU wheaties and Mercs. Then I showed him my very special 1944 Mercury dime - the first silver US coin I ever purchased. Even though it was Good, it really had a place in my heart. After my collector friend picked out some coins that I'd sell to him, I left the coins unattended for a few seconds to do something. Then I gathered my coins and left. After I came home, I realized that the very Merc that was my favorite, the first Merc I ever purchased was missing. And guess what? My collector buddy showed me pics of his coin album. And that 1944 Merc was right there. Well, at least at first I tried convincing myself that it was pure "coin"cidence. But the evidences were too clear. 1) I always write down descriptions on the 2x2 in English, while my collector friend doesn't (writes in Korean). 2) The dime was replaced in a new 2x2, and yet the descriptions are written exactly as I wrote it. That's the only 2x2 that has a full description in English in the whole album. Sticks out like a sore thumb. 3) My collector buddy would always inform me with his new purchases, yet he didn't say anything about that Merc before. I'm in a really uncomfortable situation. That fellow collector is a good buddy of mine, so I don't want to make negative relationships. However, I certainly do want that Merc back. Deep internal conflict here. "To choose friendship or Merc, that is the question!" |
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Pillar of the Community
Canada
5417 Posts |
Quite a dilemma. On one hand do you really want to lose a friendship over one merc (even if it was your first) and on the other hand, do you want to be friends with somebody who would steal that merc which has no value to anybody but you after you told him how much it meant to you?
IMO it would be best not to be friends with such a person. It may not matter now but in the future who knows, when you get coins that are very valuable in the hundreds or even thousands, do you want him to steal them? I think not. Although it will be awkward I would encourage you confront him about the situation. If he made a mistake, maybe just get the coin back and be wary in the future. Otherwise tell him that you are no longer interested in being his friend.
I've been in the same situation before back when I was 12, I traded with someone who I knew through my family. One day we were trading and I got up to do something and when I came back, we traded some more then he left. Later when I went to put my coins back in my album I noticed 3 1991 50-Cent's were missing. Later when I went to his house I found them in his collection. They were only worth face so I decided to let him keep them and just never trade with him again.
I hope this will help you make your decision and encourage you to be wary in the future.
Best of luck.
Edited by zxcccxz
05/25/2014 1:33 pm
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Pillar of the Community
 Canada
9862 Posts |
Sounds like coin and trust are already gone, you must confront him in order to set things right.
"Dipping" is not considered cleaning...
-from PCGS website
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Pillar of the Community
917 Posts |
Quote:
"To choose friendship or Merc, that is the question!" Well friends don't steal from each other so I guess you weren't as good of friends as you thought. This is why its not a good idea to show off your collection. |
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Pillar of the Community
 Korea, Republic Of
1881 Posts |
Quote:
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"......This is why its not a good idea to show off your collection. I should have been more careful....although it makes me wonder why the collector buddy took a G-06 one instead of a Gem Unc example that was also there. |
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Valued Member
United States
352 Posts |
Matteproof: Quote:
I'm in a really uncomfortable situation. That fellow collector is a good buddy of mine, so I don't want to make negative relationships. However, I certainly do want that Merc back.
Look at it this way, a relationship,either man or woman is held together by trust and common interest. if the trust is gone. the relationship is over. Your "buddy" is no longer worthy of your trust,love, or friendship. sorry to seem so cold, but truth is truth. to steal from you he has no respect for you. it is not you that have to decide if the friendship needs to end. He has decided to end it already. kick his thieving butt to the curb...walk on, now, this brings us to payback. you must search your soul, do you plot and scheem to "GET HIM BACK" or do you let it go. my self..i hate to admit it. it is a fault of mine I do not forget, but will forgive. DO NOT turn your back to me "IF" you have done me wrong I will stab you in the back before a humming bird can get a drink...i I believe in turning the other cheek,,,but will not let you slap that one also hate to say it...if your the un-confrontational type person chaulk the lost coin as life lesson..forget it. it is not worth violence and jail if your the in your face type...ask to see the coin, put it in your pocket and tell him to pound sand!! whatever you do,,HE IS NOT OUR FRIEND he is a frien-enimie . stay away from him. Edited by frodo
05/25/2014 2:17 pm
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Pillar of the Community
Canada
2781 Posts |
a simple "hey when you were gathering your purchase coins you didn't happen to grab my special merc by accident did you?" would probably be the best non-confrontational way to handle things.
his answer will tell you all you need to know.
if he says no, and if you are 100% sure that it is in fact your merc then "That fellow collector is a good buddy of mine" is where you are going wrong in your thinking.
find a new coin AND a new friend.
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New Member
Kuwait
40 Posts |
Yeah, someone steals from me ONCE its over. The way I look at it, he sold his trust for a silver dime. Be glad he didn't sell it to you for more, but given the chance he probably would. 3 things are needed in a crime. Intent, capability, and opportunity, clearly he had all three going for him.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
1023 Posts |
Hes not your friend. He's in it for the coins it seems.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
6370 Posts |
I'm playing devil's advocate here, but did you consider that he may have taken it out of pure mistake? He may have seen a low-grade coin that was probably not "desirable" (by numismatic standards) and forgot what you had said about it. I think you could get it back without any problems, depending on how you ask. Now if he did take it with an intention to steal, you may have to me more brash to him. I suggest examining everry possibility before coming to a conclusion.
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Pillar of the Community
United States
865 Posts |
The fact that he would steal something that had so much personal attachment seems pretty malicious to me. Wonder what else he would pocket while you are not looking. If it were me, I would confront him , get my coin back and cut off all ties with him.
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Moderator
 United States
16677 Posts |
I would cut ties with him. The only thing that would make amends would be a most heartfelt "I'm sorry" and even then the friendship will have to heal slowly.
swcoin.ecrater.com
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Pillar of the Community
United States
7616 Posts |
If it were me I'd confront him about the dime and ask if he "accidentally" added it to the coins you sold him. How he reacts, along with the look on his face, will tell you everything you need to know about your relationship with him. If your friend denies he took it then you have to decide how much you value a friendship with a thief. Definitely, never go to a coin show with your friend. If he'll steal from you he steal at a show.
I have a special coin (AU 39-D nickel) I found while bag searching with my uncle back in the early 1960's. I always loved that coin and asked my 90 year old uncle about it a few years ago. He said he still had it and it was mine as soon as he could find it. That coin is now framed and on my wall at home.
Special coins like that need special treatment. I suggestion frame yours if your "friend" gives it back to you.
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Bedrock of the Community
Canada
10743 Posts |
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find a new coin AND a new friend I agree..you don't need a friend like that.  Edited by SHAFTA9a
05/25/2014 6:40 pm
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Valued Member
United States
58 Posts |
Unless there is a language problem and he thought he bought the coin from you, he is a thief. If there was a communication error, you need to straighten it out if you can.
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Rest in Peace
United States
10625 Posts |
 It may be a simple misunderstanding. |
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Replies: 34 / Views: 5,737 |
Posted 05/25/2014 1:38 pm
